Good times......Good times

So let me catch you up on the tooth situation with my daughter. She went to the dentist last week to have her cavities filled which was a total adventure. Just the fact that she has cavities at all fills me with guilt and remorse because I obviously didn't take good enough care of her teeth and fed her way too much bad food (this is what my critical head says anyway). So we're at the dentist and we had decided to give my seven year old sweetie the oral drugs because she really, really hates the dentist and has even kicked a doctor before. We get there they have her drink this liquid, we're watching Toy Story. In a few minutes she is complaining she feels weird and her head hurts. I panic, tell nurse who says "yeah she is getting the effects and just isn't used to the medicine, it's ok". Soon she's soooo high that we have to help her to the dentist chair where she watches Tinkerbell and notes the "colors" of the movie. She has the nitrous and they do the proper numbing. Before she had the medicine we had the talk that the Dr. will try to wiggle her front teeth and they may come out, she reluctantly agrees. I have mixed feelings about her loosing her teeth, on the one hand no more grossing me out with the wiggling, on the other she is one step closer to leaving home.

The dentist tells me her front teeth are so loose that if she knocked them even a bit she could swallow them so I have her take them out. Easy as pie.....of course I"m sad because now there is no turning back, the growing up continues with this one event we're closer to teen hood! I know, drama, drama, drama. I'm that person who worries, analyzes, denies....I'm a "freaker" as my daughter would say. Anyway it all goes OK and she actually looks cuter than ever with her gummy smile. As we leave she has to be wheeled out though because it takes another 4 hours for the meds to wear off and she is essentially stoned. On the way home she's talking about something, stops mid sentence and says "i don't even know what I'm saying....". She says she's dizzy and I tell her we'll take a nap and she will feel better. She's chattering on and I'm trying not to laugh but she is making no sense. Part of me wanted to whip out my flip video recorder and get this moment for her teen years but then i think about that guy on YouTube that got in trouble for taping his high son. Plus it's a little sad that she feels weird.

We get to the house I carry her in and we get to bed. She keeps sitting up and saying, "I'm dizzy, i can't sleep"....then she will flop back down. 5 min later, "I'm dizzy I can't sleep".........flops back down. I tell her it will be OK and that after her nap she will feel better. I am hoping that this is a sign that when she is a teenager she will not like the feeling of being drunk or high. I can dream can't I?? When she finally falls asleep I'm petting her head and watching her beautiful face, trying not to cry because my baby is growing up, those teeth are concrete proof.

I am so dreading that day when she doesn't' want me to hug her anymore, when she doesn't want to cuddle. It literally breaks my heard to think of her being sick of me and not wanting to be around me. I know it happens because I felt that way with my parents. I can't stop it. I want to but I can't stop her from growing up and becoming her own person. I don't know how we are supposed to do it as a parent, let go and let them grow up. I just love my kids so much and want to do right by them, I want to protect them from harm, heartbreak, mean kids and disappointments. But how can I? Life is full of ups and downs each day is a combo platter and it's how we react to them. What do we do when life just isn't fair? I have had my share of sitting on the pity pot because of some seeming injustice life has served me. I have also, on occasion, been able to handle a difficult situation with grace and dignity. The latter takes help from friends, from experience, strength and hope of others. Sometimes life isn't fair, I have had some really shitty times but you know what.......I survived and my kids will too. I have to have faith that they will thrive and that I can somehow help them develop the tools to navigate this crazy thing called "life on life's terms".