I'm Barfing Books

Not books on barfing........that was 20 years ago, luckily not part of my world for at least 20. No I'm talking about my night stand. Really if you saw it you'd think a) hey, she's super smart b)the library barfed here or c)this chick belongs on the show "Hoarders". Let me just shoot out a few titles I am currently reading- "Water for Elephants", "Your Four year old: Wild and Wonderful", "Night world", "123 Magic", "Alcoholics Anonymous", "Deepak Chopra-The seven spiritual laws for parenting" and "Secret Code for Success". There are more but these are the ones I'm at least attempting to learn from, escape in or just survive with.

The "Alcoholics Anonymous" book is fairly self explanatory, I've been sober for 16 years and this "Big Book" lays out the 12 step program for me which has changed my life for the better in more ways than I can count. The book "Your Four Year old" is a small one that is attempting to help me understand what the heck is going on in that testosterone flooded body of my 4 year old boy. I just don't get the guy thing. I had a sister and a female dog and the whole rough and tumble, kill and shoot thing is like watching a strange ritual every single day. Now on to "Night World" that is just a silly teen novel about the "night world" of vampires, witches, werewolves..kinda boring. There isn't even any steamy sex in it not sure why I"m wasting my time but I find myself reading it regardless. The "Water for Elephants" book is for my book club, something I look forward to every 6 weeks or so. My book club is filled with women that I trust, admire, love and support. It's an important group to me because we inevitably end up talking about parenting, marriage, food, sex, and eventually the book. The book "1-2-3 Magic" is a parenting book and right now I'm in another period of parenting boot camp. It's such a great book, simple, concise, as usual the problem is implementing the parenting skills I'm learning. I don't lock my kids in the closet or beat them or starve them but parenting is a skill I have to work at.......it's just not natural to a control freak like me! The book called "The Secret Code of Success" states that it has 7 hidden steps to more wealth and happiness....WELL alright then. Bring it on! I have yet to get past the first page but I have no doubt that after reading it money will either start growing on my back yard trees or flying out my butt and I will be thrilled beyond belief at every moment of my life no matter what is happening!

The point of this blog is to just note all that I work on, all that many of us work on. I used to have a joke with my mom and my best friend that it took a "team" to keep me running. At a time there was the AA sponsor, the therapist, the psychologist, the friends helping out, the husband understanding, the self help books.....that was a rough time. But here I am on the other side and I'm still looking for and accepting help from many sources. I see that I actually NEED all these books next to my bed, they make me feel secure and hopeful. I do need my AA program book near me, keeping me on the straight and narrow, reminding me of what is really important. I need those books on parenting because frankly I'm baffled by parenting a lot of the time and I often hear Ozzy Ozborne's song "Crazy Train" in my head. I need the guidance and experience of others in regards to parenting. The book club well i already talked about that, I need good books to read and I need my ladies...they anchor me. Now the teen trash about vampires and such, I don't really have an excuse for that except that I'm fairly immature so I relate to these young characters. I already explained the Success book......figuring out how to either make counterfeit money or have it flying out of my ass.

If you read this thinking, "god that's a lot of books, poor soul." Well you don't know me well or my friends for that matter. In fact I would bet money that 1/2 of my friends have the same sort of night stands filled with books that make them feel safe, help them fall asleep and inspire them to be better women. Books have always been a source of comfort for me and now that I'm older I'm more inclined to "take what I like and leave the rest." I know I will never be a perfect parent or a perfect sober member of AA, perfect friend or filthy rich. I don't need to be because all in all I really do have an Amazing Imperfect Life. I'm like most stay at home moms, working moms, 40 something women you see- a beautiful work in progress. "Takes a village" they say.......well I've got one right on my nightstand thank you very much!!!